Time

I am nothing like you, time. But, let's settle this once and for all. Do I have a shot here?

Perineal lightning bugs and the daisy I explained, you are quick and crunching leaves that shaded us while permanently teaching, we are lucky when you are not only brown and sometimes red and orange. 

Regardless if you say your seasons goodbyes with torn litter or full of graceful exit of marigolds intent, it is still a goodbye.

I outlived you again. 

We both know that isn't true.

I take a picture of her with you because of her in you as you leave. You take your own place to photograph her again with your replacement of yourself. 

I can tell that you can tell I am trying to seem big by seeming mad.

I never considered control of you, but I once gave you a small mourning and was resentful you didn't notice. The ceremony was for what you marked of her permanence, I did not grieve you ever but really I did and what I have to say about you is frustrating that you wont hear or care if I did or did not grieve. 

Your leaving promised return because I saw it for my life again and again until one day the person came to have me and I have her while you did what did not need asking, change. 

Extra toys in a bath, when you have no season, is decided for reasons nothing more than creating celebration on the occasion of her. 

Listen, can you listen? I really don't know. I don't try to work against you and I do and why can't you notice that. I work harder in you to revere rompers with pink flowers you will make their use obsolete. I'll archive their importance after you’ve retired them. I care. 

You are unstoppable. I am too. 

Do you even know how embarrassing it is to try and say that to you just to get you to pause and laugh at me?

Did it work?

Pretending you know of me to even bully me is point enough that I could not be your equal no matter how many pressed flowers or boxes neatly packed with things you make precious.

In your passing the name she gave a tiny mouse was broken from your brutal rule. Is it really brutal if it is expected? I remembered each gift as you moved on, as you do. The house we built for that mouse, for now, out lives you. For now only means a tiny debris you forgot but it will take care of itself with more of you and be gone. 

Will you please believe that I accept what you are and need you to know how much means to me from things that happened inside you. I feel it's only fair you notice my demanding gratitude. 

You speak in years but it is not speech! I promise not to call it theft! Now I stand your size. Oh. Now I stand your size?

Eye to eye?

Do you know if there is a chance it can be true? Any help here would be appreciated.

Can you pity that I am trying to act as big as you? What you take I give or remember. And I keep what’s mine you have no right to. You made the rules. You do have right. I'm sorry?

So let's try this, I'll revere your taking because it is how new reverences arrive?

When you one day take the formidable home for a small beloved mouse, made to defy your impossible progress, what remains that you cannot total is what it was built by; forever? Do we agree? Can we negotiate?

Time, I am nothing like you and I won't fight you exactly the way I am right now and will continue to. I am the keeper, you the taker. You can erode the material that she and I used inside you, even eventually the mouse itself. And I guess that's it then. Really? Will nothing I threaten make you stop so I can get back some of you?

Ok, your entitled power is holy. Do I worship you? Is each blueberry crushed in the rug or handprint the alter I light a candle at to try and bargain some blessings from you? I'll do it. 

I think I have plucked devotion from each moment you’ve taken. I hope I have at least for many. 

Are you a mother too? I've heard you called a father. Is that why I don't understand your rules that leave no room for what should be forever?

I’ve said prayers of gratitude for each newness you’ve brought and I know I have also disrespected you. Are you forgiving like the other laws and Gods? I stopped you by the only way a mother can stop the colossal rule of you, is that why you will not listen to me? 

Was is paralyzing little parts of you for safekeeping that felt slanderous? You know the only thing bigger in size than you; love that plants a flag before you go. 

Should I not mention that? But is is maybe the only really true thing I have said to you. The flag is there. I checked recently.

So here is a bargain, I'll make the meaning, you be lawful but not opponent. Does that sound good?

Am I much like you? I am also lawful by nature which cannot be moved or changed. I am also bigger than what people want. Size really is somethign people try and change. Did we become friends when I noticed that to you?

If there was a way to become bigger than you, just hypothetically, what would it be? If I promise not to do that thing will you tell me?

Certainly you can appreciate that with your lack of known beggining or end I am out of my league here trying to throw things at the wall and see what sticks. Wait, no, you wouldn't care about throwing or things sticking. Newtonian debate is not going to work with you. 

Ok, I will say the most formidable thing like you that I feel confident saying to a lawmaker like you -

I will not be marched off my feild. I was promised I could lower a musket or something and sing my own battle song.

We wrote it to make the cold air hitting her skin for the seconds she is between water and the towel I always place nearby. I used your own clockwork for this. Does that help? 

I am no longer on time elsewhere. Other's get mad at this, I thought maybe you would enjoy its rebellion. I think I got that wrong. And anyway, I am always late now because I am always looking for her before I go. 

You don't need to hear that for it to be true. 

That grass you gave us you in has a million moments I will keep with your permission. I want to keep them because I was loving my child there. 

I think I might have solved you. I don't need your permission because your provision is not reciprocal. 

Did I get it right this time?